Girls Gist With Oyin… Where We Mend It!
Love is all about sacrifice, the ability to compromise and be flexible enough to go out of one’s way to make our partners happy. It is not just about feelings and emotions. Love is about trust and commitment to the cause of a successful and lasting relationship.
“Love is blind” is a popular phrase that is oftentimes applied to show the depth of our feelings and attachment to our partners. Having said this, how true is this phrase? How do we know we are on the right track and not just loving blindly or stupidly? How far are we willing to go, to show how much we love our partners?
This really calls for reflection, as wesome times misconstrue love for infatuation. Infatuation is more about unreasonable feelings and attraction. This is when we ignore all the warning signs and red flags when someone is not right for us. We blindly say we are in love but our eyes snap open wide when we eventually get married and discover we have been living in a fool’s paradise all along.
‘’Love is blind” is not just a figurative phrase but a valid notion which has been researched and proven that feelings of love actually suppresses the functional ability of that part of the brain that controls and deals with logical and critical reasoning or thoughts. We tend to idealize our partner and choose to see only that which pleases us especially in the early stage of the relationship. How healthy is it for a relationship when we become so blinded by our feelings and emotion that we end up becoming a different person all in the name of ” Love is blind?’’
Quite a number of break ups and eventual divorces would have been avoided if we were more logical in our reasoning and had taken time to evaluate our feelings to truly know when we start getting it all wrong. Such is the case of two people in love and ready to get committed, but discover they both are carriers of the sickle cell gene. Should they go ahead and get married not minding the future pain and anguish they will likely go through with their unborn children or should they just summon up courage and break up the relationship, not minding the immediate pain of heartbreak?
It’s quite clear that there are two sides to a coin. Love is a two-way traffic, involving the input of both partners. “Love your neighbour as yourself”, a popular scriptural verse says it all. We can’t claim to love others when we don’t love ourselves. When we learn to love ourselves we tend to give more in our relationship in a healthy way without being obsessed or blindly tagging along for fear of being alone, even when its obvious that the love you have for that person is not reciprocated. You love yourself enough to say no to some humiliating situations instead of taking it all in the name of ‘’love is blind.’’
Ladies, especially, this is a wake up call, love yourself enough to know you can have your eyes wide open and still be deeply in love. Become more logical in your reasoning even though the emotions are there. Define the situation. Don’t allow the so-called love is blind situation define you. And never assume you can change a person, as God is the only one that has that ability. Instead, change your mentality and mindset. Walk into that relationship with your eyes wide open, otherwise you get a rude awakening when you finally decide to come to terms with the reality.
Be yourself, he will love you just the way you are if it’s meant to be. Don’t pretend to be someone else all in the name of loving blindly. Be objective and reasonable enough to know when to stick out your neck and go all the way or when to go your separate ways. A word is enough for the wise!