MENACE OF SINGLE MOTHERHOOD… Wait, if You Have To!

 

Girls Gist With Oyin…Where We Mend it!

 

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Oyin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘’Two is better than one, for they have a better reward for their labour” and ‘’One shall chase a thousand and two shall put ten thousand to flight.” These are scriptural verses that show how powerful and effective the bond between two people can be. Living a life of solitude is not God’s plan or purpose for us. And that is why He instituted marriage and said it wasn’t good for man to be alone.

What then, do we say to the ever-growing number of singles and the increasing pressure being mounted on them by their family members, especially the parents? Does it mean if one attains a certain age without having a life partner or settling down something is wrong with the person?

Should such a ‘’single’’ person give in to pressure and the feeling of desperation and just go ahead to settle down with whoever comes along, even when it’s not what she desires? These and many more questions have been racing across my mind for a while now, considering the fact that a lot of the divorce and broken homes that is rampant today can be traced to settling down with the wrong person from the beginning. This brings to mind the biblical verse, “if the foundation be destroyed what can the righteous do?”

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From a personal standpoint, I am not an advocate of late marriage neither do I believe in rushing into marriage because we feel we are of age and time is no longer on our sides. Therefore, we allow ourselves to be pressured into a relationship we would never have dreamt of dabbling into in the first place, while forgetting that whatever happens in that union, we alone, would bear the brunt. We end up enduring and managing the affair, which was actually designed by our maker to be enjoyed, or at worst we decide to quit and consequently increase the number of divorce or broken home in the society.

No doubts, a lot of factors contribute to the number of increasing divorce and broken homes in our society today, but we can’t deny the fact that being pressured into a wrong marriage or relationship is a recipe for a failed marriage or a broken home. I think it is high time singles learned to get their priorities right and know that “whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well” If and when we eventually settle down, it should be for real and for life; not what we rush out of when we feel we can no longer endure. We certainly don’t need more broken homes and hurting kids who suffer most from this kind of situation.

It is no news in this part of the world that I come from, that parents put pressure on their children when they attain certain age, so they could settle down and get married. Truly, it is not a bad idea for parents to talk to or advise their children on the need to settle down when they come of age, but the manner in which it is done can be detrimental to the child’s future if it is not handled with love. Parents should prayerfully and lovingly strive to understand and give their children the necessary support needed to make the right choice. Parents need to know that Coercing children into marriages would only make the children more rebellious or drive them into dangerous situations which might get out of hand in the future. Their Children’s happiness should be paramount and not the desire to carry their grand children. Parents should do their parts in bringing up a well rounded child that will be confident enough to know that “its not really about how far, but how well it goes” Develop a strong and loving relationship with your wards, so they will know whether married or single, you love them anyway and want the best for them.

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Many, despite having loving and understanding parents, are the architects of their own misfortune. Out of their ‘’high’’ unrealistic desires, turn down prospective suitors because they feel he is not up to their ‘’standard.’’ Others end up in wrong marriages out of sheer greed and they not only bring pain to themselves but the entire family as a whole. Its high time we realised nothing good comes easy and that we are responsible for whatever situation we find ourselves!

Be willing to go through the process of starting from the scratch with a man. Don’t always prefer the finished product, endeavour to get the raw materials and create the finished product yourself! Remember time waits for no one, WAIT IF YOU HAVE TO; but be discerning enough to know when the right person comes along. Act right and CHOOSE WISELY!

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