Girls’ Gist With Oyin…Where We Mend it!
Oh yes! Here you are at last with the man of your dreams. Living a life you have so much longed for; having probably worked so hard in your relationship to have gotten thus far. Indeed nothing good comes easy. A successful relationship is not always a bed of roses. it is borne out of sheer hard work and a commitment from both parties to make it work against all odds. As you settle to a lifetime of happiness together with the days rolling into weeks, weeks into months and eventually months into years, we become so accustomed to one another and somehow we begin to let down our guard. As ladies, especially we become so comfortable in our role as mothers and a wives, that we forget some very important things we need to stick to in order to keep the flame of love burning.
The truth is that a successful relationship/marriage is a continuous work – work in progress. The conscious efforts of two people that are determined to make it work at all reasonable cost. There’s no perfect relationship, because there’s no perfect human being. Having said that, how do you now handle a love that suddenly seems to have gone cold? He no longer gives that attention that you so much crave for? And you begin to wonder what could be responsible for your partner’s lack of interest in you? Try as much as you may, he just doesn’t seem to notice you anymore and it feels like your whole world has come crashing down. Ladies, this is a wake up call. Enough of whining and let’s get down to real business. The business of rekindling that flame in your relationship. How do you input that sizzling romance into your relationship and make it come alive once again.
One, pay attention to your body. Your appearance plays a great role in your relationship. Neglecting your body and appearance will only repulse and drive your partner further away from you. Develop a neat and healthy lifestyle. Go to the gym and shed some weight if you have to. Get back that look that got him crazy about you in the first place. This might not be an easy ride, especially if you have added some weight after having kids, but your determination to make it work will see you through. This will help increase your self-confidence, which in turn would attract your partner anew to you.
Two, be open enough to each other. Allow yourself to be vulnerable to your partner. Being afraid to let yourself loose with your partner can inhibit an active sexual life between both of you. Be ready to get out of your cocoon and metamorphose into that woman your man will be dying to come home to meet at the end of a grueling day at work. Break free from that belief that as a woman you should be a prude. Realizing that having sexual desires/urges is a natural phenomenon will enhance your intimacy with your partner.
Apart from the above, also enable discussion between you two on issues that have to do with improving your sexual lives. Tell them what you would like them do to you, your sensitive parts, positions and when uncertain, your best bet would be to ask questions on what your partner wants. Talk about how frequent you would love your partner to make love to you. Be adventurous enough to try new things and most importantly try as much as possible not to be seen as making fun of your partner even when your desires don’t seem to tally.
Spontaneity truly increases the excitement and satisfaction in one’s sex life, but when this no longer happens due to a stressful work schedule, having to attend to the kids and many challenges that come with a growing family. Then the need to plan a date arises, especially when we consider how important this is to the overall wellbeing of our relationship. Take turns planning your sex date whichever way you want. It could mean having the kids go off to bed earlier than usual and having the whole night to each other. Offer massages to your partner when you know they need it. This could lead to amazing moments you would live to cherish in your relationship. Be creative enough in your plans. It would increase the bond between the both of you. We all tend to react differently to stress, for some sexual activities does the magic and relieves them from stress while stress put others off sexual activity. Understand your partner and what works for him. Do all you can to help in easing up your man’s stress to enhance the emotional intimacy between you two.
Finally, misunderstandings and quarrels fuel emotional disconnection. Try avoid it. Try as much as possible to resolve your disputes and allow peace reign between you. Don’t compete with your partner. Resentment and frustration should not be allowed in your relationship. Be open to communication and allow yourself to be flexible enough to compromise on important issues. It builds positive atmosphere and increases sense of unity and togetherness, which indirectly affect the sex life of a couple positively.
Ladies, once again this is our call and we can make it work if we really set our hearts to do it. Yes, our men have their parts to play in making it work but let’s do our part and make the atmosphere at home more receptive to the hot and sizzling romance we have always longed for. Make him yearn for you and ask for more always. The power to do it is in you, go make it happen and get your man back.