Girls’ Gist With Oyin…where we mend it!
‘’No man is an island’’ so, the saying goes. We were not created by God to live in isolation otherwise he would have created the man and not bother creating the woman. His creating the woman is a clear sign that we were not meant to be alone, hence, the need to be in a relationship.
The relationship between a man and a woman can be likened to iron sharpening iron. The man adding value and bringing out the best in the woman while the woman also does likewise.
During this process of relating with each other, there is bound to be misunderstanding due to so many factors, some of which includes individual background and orientation. This is quite normal, as every relationship that is destined to succeed will surely encounter challenges. However, the ability to lovingly sort out these differences is what matters.
A couple’s love and understanding for each other will go a long way when resolving issues and this will either make or mar the relationship. Love is not the only determining factor for the success of a relationship. Sure! It could be the reason for a relationship at the initial stage and all through. However, commitment is needed from couples. The determination to never give up on each other, no matter how challenging their relationships become. This is a conscious effort by the man and the woman to make it work lovingly against all odds.
When situations that may want to make couples question their being together arise, they both go back to the drawing board to see where they missed it and try to make amends. The affection we show to our beloved can be likened to the nurture and care given to a plant. When well cared for, it flourishes and blossoms into a beautiful plant, but when neglected, this plant dries up and eventually dies. So also is a relationship that is nurtured, it grows and becomes enviable to all who come across it. When the reverse is the case, the relationship will head for the rocks.
Appreciating your loved ones is a way of showing affection. These magic words, “sorry” “please” “thank you” “ I love you” to mention but just a few strengthen the bond between couples. It is a known fact that every woman loves to hear words of endearment from her man, as those words continue to reassure her of that special place she occupies in his heart. Men, most times prefer action, which is not a bad idea but when accompanied with lovely words that excite women, then we are guaranteed value added relationships.
Another essential thing I can’t afford not to mention is COMMUNICATION between couples. Its importance cannot be overemphasized. When crises arise in relationships, the tendency to keep grudges or try to remain silent over issues with the intent to bringing peace. In actual fact, talking with your partner over issues (no matter how difficult/serious) is very important. It is however, equally important that we are mindful of our words. Words are powerful tools that could either aggravate an already tensed situation or ameliorate it and bring about peace. Therefore, we need to watch our utterances.
Study your man, know the appropriate time to discuss with him and whenever an apology is needed from you, do not hesitate to do so. This doesn’t diminish your personality, it only shows your strength as a woman.
Ladies please don’t NAG your man!!! Most women I know have at one point or the other been guilty of this crime “NAGGING” “moi” inclusive. Try avoid this. It doesn’t yield positive result; you only end up driving him farther away from you and that is not what you want. Think of constructive ways to make him understand you and try to understand him too. Imagine yourself in his shoes and why he did whatever it was he did before giving in to that urge to NAG. This will enable better understanding between you guys and also save your pretty head, the ache that comes with NAGGING.
To round it up, TRUST your partner and yourself too. Let there be TRUST between you. If he knows you have gotten his back in whatever situation, whether he is present or not, he will open up more to you. Don’t wash your dirty linens outside. Resolve whatever needs resolving in the confines of your room or when alone. Always present a united front. Sometimes, you can disagree, but when you do so, be discreet about it in public. Wait till you get home before you express your feeling. Let him see your perspective, and trust me, every woman knows the RIGHT time to do that.
We can make it work if both parties try. Wishing you the best in your relationship this new year.
Remember, it takes two to tango!